I want to sell my wedding ring but I don’t want the next woman who wears it to get the bad mojo that was placed on mine. I don’t think that’s fair but I don’t want it anymore, I have no use for it. I dont want to remember any lies, any of the falsehood that my was thrown upon my life when I placed that ring on my finger & took those vows under false beliefs. I don’t want to be asked about previously being married, I don’t even want to remember that person exists. If I could blink my eyes & he didn’t exist my life would not be phased. I’m trying to sell everything that reminds me of him in that fake home we built. too much bad mojo ; I’ll never be the same, every man that I ever encounter I’m going to wonder what his secret could be. If possibly he’d slept with a man before coming home that night , if his nightly videogame nights were in fact sex w men instead. I’ll never be able to let another man look at me or even touch me the same again ; & that’s unfair. but I vow to be more successful & even stronger because of the amount of deceit I have encountered. It sucks but I will be okay, & once this divorce is over & I gain my belongings & what I deserve back .; I will fully be able to move on, but I am taking it day by day. I have my days where I’m really pissed & I want nothing more but for him to be dead in the ground 6ft under with one of his ass buddies with him. ; & there’s other days I have compassion because it sucks he can’t be who he really is, & had to be such a fraud & all these other people.have to suffer due to his lack of consideration but I have to offer that up to the Lord. Eventually he will be found out.
the moment you realize the person you’ve been with & have fallen in love with is a complete fraud .; & lives a totally double life, & doesn’t even like woman. when you realize you were getting dicked down by a man who was getting dicked down. when you talk to a guy he was talking to while he was with you. & then he tries to act as though nothing happened & your the one who’s nuts, ha. how things change. six months ago I was a happily married wife or so I though. because I believed I had an honest relationship & a heterosexual husband. ; I guess I shouldve listened to you anonymous tumblr people about him being on the DL. you guys were absolutely right. & it took me almost 2 1/2 years to realize, that fucking sucks.bro. I’m surprised I’m not in fucking prison, I may very well be though but o know this trial will be completely in my favor. Smh , the things people hide. how could I let this fraud ass nigga in my life for so long & not know. its fucking crazyyy, & I keep telling myself vengeance is not mine & that his actions do not reflect who I am as a person but damn nigga. really? like that. & the whole truth comes out niggas from everywhere flocking to tell me about there encounters, sucking dicks & watching dragon ball z. going on long trips smoking weed, sending pictures & making videos ; I’m fucking done bro. the jig is fucking up, time to play hard ball. I’m really not the one.
I haven’t been to church in like a year. I really need to get to that place & let my soul feel something positive. this military life is something stressful, I tell you. I really wish I could fly to California or Atlanta, or something & go to church. I love Dr. Stanley & I definitely miss Rev. Starr ; I need some soul healing word, something to let me know the Lord is still here, although I know he is. & he’s never left me… it’s just good to hear. I have to find a good church at my next duty section. It’s imperative, especially being a wife, it’s going to be VERY stressful. I know I have an amazing support group; but things are so different now. especially, being like so close to being married. I don’t really know who I can confide in now besides him. I need more positive people. I hope my next duty station has better people than this place, that I’m at right now. because, I feel like I’m going to kill someone here.!
shouldn’t you be allowed to marry who you love.?
what happened to ALL you need is love;
today my mom told me she saw me married with children ;
its funny, cause’ I used to always tell her I’d never get married. then , she talks about me & my boyfriend being married in our pickup truck . it’s really funny . I’m glad I have that relationship with her.